Sober Roots: Drinking Initiates
I remember the first time I got really drunk.
I was 16; my high school boyfriend had gone off to college, thereby ending our relationship. I was devastated as a teenager would be—my first real heartbreak.
I had tried alcohol before, at what millennials used to call “kickbacks,” in the early 2000s — not more than 1 Corona in one sitting.
But I had enough exposure to set my mind on alcohol to ease this pain of teenage heartache. The question was how I could get away with it.
A little about me - I was a straight-A student, a repeat lead in our high school musicals, sang in the choir, danced, even moonlighted as a member of our high school’s theater tech crew (accidentally turned down the lights during a ballet segment -sorry!) for one show. I had great relationships with my teachers. I was a “textbook” good student.
My father was a Baptist pastor. Spoiler alert — not John Lithgow from Footloose (thankfully). He was pragmatic. He understood teenagers, their world, and was more concerned about honesty and my safety than anything else. We had a rule that if anything happened, anything at all, that I was to call him and he’d pick me up from the ends of the Earth and bring me back home—no questions asked (until the next day).
So, naturally, due to my impeccable record (and as teenagers love to push boundaries), I thought it was worth a shot to ask my dad if I could have my closest girlfriends over and drink til drunk.
I don’t recall how I proposed this, but I remember a blank expression at first and wheels turning. I can definitely say he was not delighted. However, as mentioned, my dad’s priority of safety outweighed his heart, and he agreed to this scheme, not knowing if he’d regret it.
So it went — my girlfriends brought over some strawberry daiquiris and we got lit - or maybe I just did. I found my brother’s old Marlboro cigarette, something I saved of his before he was shipped to Afghanistan, and smoked it (regrettably). Got the drunk munchies, ate a whole bowl of spinach ravioli, and threw it all up in the kitchen sink while one of my best friends (still best friends) held my hair back.
The next morning, I was still drunk…and still sad. My friends, inevitably, had to go back home. I had to air out my bedroom from the stench of cigarettes.
I was still me. The thing still happened. I still felt like shit. I still had to deal.
This memory has been etched in my heart for ages because it hits a few geneses.
This is the first time I used alcohol to emotionally regulate.
I figured out, after not much experience, that alcohol was a way to escape, to be, and go somewhere else for a while to avoid pain. Pain from hard life things to just needing to take the edge off, to simply not liking any type of stress or expectation. If it works for the hard things, why not use it for all the things.
I didn't know it then, but this is where I would go time and time again until age, a tired body, mind, and soul —ie, a wiser me — would have to reparent myself.
If I had it together, alcohol was deserved or allowed
I did what I was supposed to. I went to church 3 times a week, got top grades, was involved in a productive extracurricular hobby that I loved and did well in. I didn’t get into trouble. Wasn’t I doing enough?
This was the first time I had binged on alcohol
Alcohol wasn’t a habit yet. I didn’t think I was playing with fire…. but I was.
Before we delve into the science, I invite you to take a breath. I usually glaze over at stats, so if you are like me, I am with you.
Ready? Ok, let’s dive in.
The adolescent brain, still developing into the mid-20s, is highly vulnerable to alcohol’s effects due to its plasticity and ongoing maturation.
Key processes like synaptic pruning and myelination, which shape neural connections, can be disrupted, leading to both immediate and lasting consequences.
Synaptic Pruning: The brain eliminates excess neural connections (synapses) formed during childhood to make neural networks more efficient. Think of it like trimming overgrown branches on a tree to strengthen the main pathways. This process, prominent in adolescence, refines cognitive abilities like focus, decision-making, and memory. Alcohol can disrupt this, leaving inefficient or weakened connections, which may impair learning and emotional regulation.
Myelination: This is the process where nerve fibers are coated with myelin, a fatty insulating layer that speeds up signal transmission between brain cells. It’s like upgrading from dial-up to fiber-optic internet for neural communication. During adolescence, myelination enhances coordination between brain regions, improving skills like impulse control and complex thinking. Alcohol can slow or damage this process, leading to slower cognitive function and reduced brain efficiency.
Why It Matters: These processes make the adolescent brain highly adaptable but also vulnerable. Alcohol’s interference can lead to lasting deficits in cognition, emotional stability, and decision-making, especially with heavy or binge drinking.
Short-Term Risks: Alcohol impairs judgment, memory, and impulse control by disrupting neurotransmitters, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and amygdala. Teens experience less sedation than adults, enabling higher consumption, which increases risks like blackouts—reported by one in five older teens—and dangerous behaviors such as drunk driving or unprotected sex.
Long-Term Consequences: Repeated alcohol use, especially binge drinking, can permanently alter brain structure, accelerating grey matter loss and stunting white matter development. This impacts decision-making, learning, and emotional regulation, with smaller frontal lobes, hippocampus, and amygdala linked to cognitive deficits and heightened risks of anxiety, depression, and alcohol use disorder later in life. Early drinking amplifies these risks, particularly for those with genetic or environmental vulnerabilities.
Sources: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, scientific reviews on adolescent brain development.
Some recent stats on teen alcohol use say it has declined dramatically over the past two decades, but binge drinking remains a problem. Here’s the current average based on the latest national surveys:
Overall Use (Past 30 Days)
8th graders: 8% report drinking
10th graders: 18%
12th graders: 31% (Monitoring the Future, 2024)
Binge Drinking (5+ drinks in a row, past 2 weeks)
8th grade: 3%
10th grade: 9%
12th grade: 15% (Down 70% since the 1990s, but still 1 in 7 seniors)
Lifetime Use
By 12th grade, 58% have tried alcohol
22% report being drunk at least once
Heavy Episodic Drinking (10+ drinks in a row)
5% of 12th graders (past 2 weeks) (Higher among males and in rural areas)
Gender & Trends
Girls now binge drink at similar rates to boys
Vaping alcohol and alcopops (sweet flavored drinks) drive female use
Daily drinking: <1% of teens
Global Context
US teens drink less than European peers (e.g., 40% of UK 15-year-olds drink monthly)
Extreme bingeing (15+ drinks) is rare but rising in some subgroups
Bottom Line: The average teen is less likely to drink than any generation since the 1970s. But when they do drink, they binge—1 in 4 high school drinkers blackout monthly. Early sipping (before age 13) triples the risk of later alcohol use disorder.
Sources: CDC YRBS 2023, Monitoring the Future 2024, NIAAA
It’s no wonder many of us are so greatly impacted by alcohol if we are introduced to it in our formative years.
So what does recovery look like for us who have been drinking well into adulthood?
Adults (post-25, when brain maturation plateaus) recover from chronic alcohol use more slowly than adolescents due to reduced neuroplasticity, but abstinence still drives significant improvements. Please note that these timelines varies by drinking duration (e.g., 10+ years slows progress), age, health, and lifestyle, and full recovery may not reach 100% in heavy, long-term cases.
Days 1–7: Withdrawal resolves (with medical support); brain fog lifts as neurotransmitters (GABA, dopamine) rebalance, easing anxiety and insomnia.
Weeks 1–4: Mood and sleep stabilize; inflammation decreases, improving energy and basic cognition.
Months 1–6: Cognitive function rebounds (attention, memory); grey matter volume increases 10–20%; reduced cravings.
6–24 Months: Executive skills (planning, impulse control) improve markedly; white matter repairs, enhancing neural efficiency. MRI studies show 50–80% structural recovery.
Beyond 2 Years: Most achieve 60–90% brain recovery; hippocampal growth supports better learning/emotion. Older adults or those with severe damage (e.g., Wernicke-Korsakoff) may retain mild impairments.
Boosting Recovery: Exercise, cognitive therapy, B-vitamins, and abstinence support accelerate gains by 20–40%. Co-existing conditions (e.g., liver disease) extend timelines. Quitting earlier in adulthood yields better outcomes.
Sources: NIAAA, Mayo Clinic, longitudinal neuroimaging studies (2023–2025).
However you came into a relationship with alcohol, know you’re not alone.
Alcohol is marketed, it’s glamorized. It's not just the act of imbibing, there is messaging behind it (more to come on this).
Did alcohol come to you at an early age, too?
All my love,
Mia
